The Inheritance Cycle Gets Random Slogans!
by The Wayfaring Strangers
Summary: Ever wondered what would happen if you inflicted a slogan generator on Christopher Paolini's characters? Well, now you know! Chapter four is here: Inheritance rules!
1. You don't want Eragon as your enemy

**_We were inspired to write this by _Mornen**, **_who has a hilarious fic with the same idea called _The Silmarillion Gets Silly Slogans. _If you are at all into the Silm Fandom, you should read it. It's very funny! _**

**Now, onto the slogans...**

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><p><strong>~You don't want<em> Eragon<em> as your enemy.~**

** -o-  
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**Who would you have an Eragon with?** (_Let's see...)**  
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**Where the heck is Saphira! **_(With Eragon, you knurlheim!)**  
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**One goal, one passion - Arya. **_(If you're Eragon, I guess.)_**  
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**The sweet you can eat between your meals without ruining your Roran. **(My _Roran? Can't wait to see how Katrina likes that.)**  
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****Sloan makes your day.**** _(Are you sure about that?)_****  
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****** Garrow evolution. ******_(No comment.)******  
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********Horst is back. ********_(Oh really? Where did he go?)********  
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**Angela is a never ending story. **_(So true!)_**  
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**Brom - as good as it gets! **_(You gotta love cool mentor-dudes!)**  
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**Nobody doesn't like the Ra'azak!**_ (Riiigghhhtt...*shifty eyes*)**  
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**Durza after a long day. **_(*runs* I don't even want to meet him after a short day!)**  
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**Every Solembum has a story. **_(Okay! "What's your story?"..*tries to pet fluffy kitty*...AAEEII!)**  
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**Jeod - a class of his own **_(You bet!)_

**Murtagh for a professional image. **_(Are you sure? All the angst might look kind of messy...)**  
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**Genius has a name: Ajihod. **_(I would agree__.)_

**The original Nasuada. **_(Implying there are knock-offs lying around?)_

**Everything is simple with the Twins.**_ (Maybe for Galbatorix...)**  
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**Triana? You bet. **_(We are talking about plotting and coniving, right?)**  
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****Orik for your health. ****_(Uhh...if you say so.)****  
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******You can't stop Hrothgar.****** (_Not until_ Eldest_ anyway...)_

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><p>Next Chapter Will Be...<strong> The Magic of <em>Eldest<em>!**

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><p><em>What do you think? Blatantly funny? Intolerably strange? Please tell us!<em>

_~DarthMihi & RandomCelt****  
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	2. The magic of Eldest

**Here we go! More slogans!**

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><p><strong>~The Magic of <em>Eldest.~<em>**

**_-o-_  
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**The Shadeslayer that smiles back. **_(Oh really? he seems a bit angsty and love-struck for that.)**  
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**Would you give someone your last Bjartskular? **_(I don't think the Bjartskular wants to be given...)**  
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**Easy, breezy, beautiful King Orrin.**_ (Uuuhhh...)**  
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**A tough Trianna to follow. **_(Not if you are refering to her spellcasting...*shifty eyes* *Ducks and runs*)**  
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**I am stuck on Nasuada, 'cause Nasuada's stuck on me.**_ (Aaaww! Murtagh/Nasuada! Oops...wait..not until _Inheritance_.*pouts*)_

**Built Murtagh tough. **_(What are we talking about again?)**  
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**we bring King Hrothgar to life.**_ (Eeek! A dwarf king zombie! *runs*)**  
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**Go open a Jormundr. **_(No comment)**  
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**Your Elva, right away. **_(No, no thank you!)**  
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**Uh-oh, better get a Islanzadí. **_(Ummm...for what?)**  
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**The Vanir of confidence. **_(According to himself perhaps.)**  
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**Life should taste as good as Arya. **_(Aaaaahhh! Cannibal elves!)**  
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**The best Oromis money can buy. **_(Implying there's more than one...and some are better than others! *gasp* What a blow to his self esteem!)**  
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****Glaedr wanted.****_ ( *in imperious, stuffy tones*For charges of treason against our most noble king, and for assaulting his royal person.)_****  
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****Lord Dathedrrific. ****_(Well that's just wonderful! Moving right along.)****  
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****Iduna can do. ****_(Finish the sentence please. *sigh*)****  
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******Neya - simplified! ******_(She was complicated?)******  
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********Birgit, just the best.********_ ( Of what? Do we even want to know?)********  
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**********The Horst community. **********_(No, no. Roran was the leader.)**********  
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************Elain groove. ************_(Explanation please?)************  
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****************Don't get in the way of Katrina. ****************_(Why? Sure she'll get all huffy, but Roran will kill you!)_****************  
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****************Roran, in touch with tomorrow. ****************_(Sure! Simple farmer today, berserk warrior tomorrow! That's the Roran we all know and love!)****************  
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><p>Next chapter will be...<strong>There is no life without <em>Brisingr<em>!**

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><p><em>There! Chap no. two. Did I forget anybody? I didn't consult a character list at all...I just tried to come up with all the correct characters from memory...Somebody please tell me if I forgot anyone important! NOTE: I left out Rhunön and Farica and some Carvahallers on purpose so that they can be featured in the next chapter. Also, I could NOT find an 'a' with an umlaut for Lord Dathedr. *pouts* As always, reviewers make the Muse happy!<br>_

_****************~RandomCelt & editor DarthMihi  
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	3. There is no life without Brisingr

***Peeks furtively around door* Sorry! That took _forever_. We apologize. *In wheedling voice* Please read it!  
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><p><strong>~There is no life without Brisingr.~<strong>

**_-o-_  
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****Eragon for the masses! ****_(Oh, yeah? What about all the masses that ally with the Empire?)****  
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****Saphira, good. ****_(Well, sometimes, but she _is_ a dragon.)****  
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****Don't get in the way of Roran. ****_(Indeed, a bad policy, but I believe we have discussed this before.)****  
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****Nasuada never lies. ****_( I beg to differ.)****  
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****Don't play with fire, play with Farica. ****_(Um, yeah. Awkward.)_****  
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****Have a break, have a Fadawar. ****_(Ah, a challenge. How exactly does one have a Fadawar?)****  
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****The Jormundr look. ****_(Something tells me he's not usually a trend-setter.)****  
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****Brom - Think different. ****_(Yup, different all right.)****  
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****For the love of Selena! ****_(Awww! So true!)****  
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****The ideal Morzan. ****_(Now, now.*raises eyebrow* That all depends on your...point of view.*creepy smile*)****  
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****Jeod takes good care of you. ****_(Of Helen maybe.)****  
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****Helen lifestyle**! **_(That would be nice...)**  
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****Orik is what the world was waiting for. ****_( *weird look* Yeah right. I thought Eragon was the Chosen One.)****  
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**Íorûnn. ****See more. Do more. **_(Great. What's that supposed to mean?)_

****No Kvistor, no kiss. ****_(* in Italian accent* Ya got no Kavistor, you gotta no kees.)****  
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****Nado moment. ****_(DUUNN...Dunn... D'oh.)****  
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** **Feel good with** Rhunön. **_(About what? The woman is decidedly crabby. *shifty eyes* *runs*)**  
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****You know when it's Oromis. ****_(I concur.)_

****Saved by Glaedr! ****_(From what we'll never know.)****  
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****Bigger. Better. **Blödhgarm. **_(Wait, wait, wait! Is this implying that Blödhgarm is FAT!)_**  
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****Up, up and away with Arya.****_ (So she can fly on top of everything else? *facepalms* Give me a break.)_

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><p>The next chapter will be...<strong><em>Inheratance<em> rules_._**_  
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><p><em>*sigh of relief* There! another chappie done. And to think there will only be one more..*gets sentimental* Anyway, please review and tell us if we missed anybody important.<em>

_~RandomCelt & DarthMihi  
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	4. Inheritance rules!

**Wow. The last chapter! We can't believe it...yes we can. An extra long chapter, in honor of an extra long book.  
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><p><strong><em>Inheritance<em> rules.  
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**_-o-_  
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****Eragon Shadeslayer - that's my style.****_ (who_ are_ you?)****  
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**Visualize perfection. Visualize Saphira Bjartskular. **_(*backs away slowly* Nice, perfect dragon...)_**  
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**Roran Stronghammer is a gift. **_(I think that everyone except the Empire and Sloan would agree. )**  
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**There's Katrina in every drop. **_(Every drop of blood! You have...9 seconds before Roran brutally kills you. Bye! *runs*)**  
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**Ismira II is your happiness.**_ (__Aaawww!)_**  
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**Sloan means friendship. **_(Maybe in Urgalese. *rolls eyes* Get real.)**  
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****Arya - the real dream. ****_(He's got a dream, he's got a dream...*is murdered by Eragon*)****  
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**Firnen can do. **_(Finish the sentence, please.)_**  
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**Islanzadi** keeps going, and going, and going...****_(No actually, no she doesn't.)_

****Bladgen for president. ****_(...of what?)****  
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******It's not a dream. Glaedr is real! ******_(No, you idiot - he's a big, shiny rock! *runs for cover*)******  
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****Vanir - Your personal entertainer. ****_(I don't like where this is going..)****  
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****Step into the light with Bl**ö**dhgarm. ****_(Oh come on! Don't tell me he has his own magical, personal spotlight? Uurrg.)****  
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****I want more, I want Linnea. ****_(More... of what?)_****  
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****It's time to think about Yaela.****_ (Yes, of course - her and Jarsha. Poor, underrepresented characters.)_ ****  
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******Oh my************ goodn************ess,************ it's a Jormundr******_****** . ******(Gasp!)__******  
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******Keep going well, keep going Nasuada.******_ (Murtagh agrees. *nervous smile* ...so do I, of course.)_******  
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******Murtgah makes me hot.******_ (no, No, NO! He's the hot one!)******  
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******Anyone can handle Thorn.** ****_(If I were you, I would run, like, right now.)****  
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******I'd do anything for Morzan. ******_(Fangirl.)_******  
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******Every Galbatorix has a story. ******_(Yes, and goes something like this: "Nobody loves me! Oh yeah, take that, haters! Killie,killie killie! Ooo power. Sorry, me king now. Not gonna stop. Haha! Killie some more! Power!" What? He _is_ crazy.)******  
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****3... 2... 1... ******Shruikan******! ****_(Shruikan, Shruikan! It's time to wake up now sweetums. Yowww!)****  
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********Pure Orik. Pure Power.** ******_(Well,he _is_ supposed to be strong...but something tells me, not _that_ strong.)******  
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****Nar Garhzvog - The Revolution**. **_(Well, he was part of it, but it's a bit pretentious to say he was ALL of it.)**  
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****Long live Yarbog! ****_(Yeah! Oh wait, who was Yarbog again? Oh well, party on, dude!)****  
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****Heal the world with Carn**. **_(*Sniffs* I miss Carn. Why'd he hafta DIE?)**  
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**Martland Redbeard brings out the best. **_(Well, he was a good strategist...)**  
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****It must be Trianna. ****_(*puts on bluffing face* *in pretentious voice*Oh yes, without a doubt.)****  
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****Follow your King Orrin. ****_(My King Orrin? **MY** King Orrin? *Lobs rotten tomato at slogan generator*)_****  
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****Be part of Elva. ****_(What, the part that Eragon magicked away? No thanks, no thanks anyway.)****  
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****Birgit groove. ****_(Beware the grooovve!)****  
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****I want ******Angela****** and I want it now. ****_(Well someone's being pushy. What do you say?)****  
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****Firstclass Solembum! ****_(Implying there's second class?)****  
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****My Grimmr Halfpaw, your Grimmr Halfpaw, Grimmr Halfpaw for all! ****_(Are you sure there's enough to go around...I mean, he's kinda small..)****  
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****I'd sleep with The Priest of Hellgrind**. **_(That's just...*barfs under table* that's...we should have spared you the mental trauma. Sorry.)**  
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****Lord Barst wanted. ****_(No, no thanks! We found someone else for the job. You can keep your big, hairy man. *looks horrified* *runs*)****  
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****Share moments, share The Ra'azac. ****_(Yes, I'm happy to share! Anything to get them out of my house!)****  
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****The Eldunari, you'll love them! ****_(*Nods convincingly* They'd be great in a catapult)****  
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****Vrael will do anything for you. ****_(That is a lie! He's a king, not a servant!)****  
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****Worldclass Belgabad! ****_(Yup! Big enough for the whole world, and irreplaceable too!)****  
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****Formora, whiter than the whitest! ****_(Huh? her dragon was PURPLE! ...or was that Kialandi's?)****  
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****Go far with Kialandi. ****_(Correction : Went far with Kialandi.)****  
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****I wish I was a The Forsworn. ****_(Well then, honeybunches, you have got a death wish.)****  
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****King Palancar. The power on your side. ****_(What? That old geezer?)_

_****Finis  
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><p><em>Wow! Done! <em>

_A big, fat, blue, hairy, Celtic, Sithly thanks to all our reviewers! (past, present, and future.) We love you guys! *Hugs*_

_We would love to know what you guys thought of this story! Clicky, clicky, minions! Review! Please? **Please?**  
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_If we missed anyone, please let us know, and we will remedy the problem immediately._

_~RandomCelt & DarthMihi  
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